Before Dogs, I:

Never had to fix liver for anything.
Lived in the city, had extra money, and thought I was insane.
Bought clothes for myself instead of dog shows.
Thought a tie was something a man wore around his neck.
Didn't own a pooper scooper, grooming table, 5 crates, or 4 exercise pens.
Thought a professional handler was an agent for a fighter.
Thought a major was an officer in the Army.
Never told my kids to sit and stay.
Would come home from a party at 4 am, not leave for a dog show then.
Never worried about parasites or kennel cough.
Never owed a Vet a dime.
Had furniture without dog hair on it.
Didn't worry about dog shows or whelping calendars.
Had long hair and time to groom it.
Thought "in season" referred to the latest fashion.
Thought "bitch" was a swear word.
Didn't worry if my skirts had pockets.
Thought bait was used for fishing.
Thought politics took place only in Washington.
Thought a match was something used to light a fire.
Had a phone bill I could afford.
Thought if someone was "finished", he was six feet under.

Author unknown