The Loneliness of the Long Distance Loser

Every Friday it's the same, Saturday winning is her aim,
Into the bath to spruce me up, all for the sake of a blinking cup!
I just get settled into sleep, and really honestly, I could weep,
"Come on" she says "time for the coach, go in the garden and try to do both".

Out in the garden, I'm in the mud, should put paid to the idea for good!
No such luck, she just gets mad and bawls me out for being so bad.
So off we set, in the dead of night, I'm sure her head is not quite right!
We settle down cosy on the seat, by this time, we're both dead beat.

Morning comes and it's pouring with rain, means I'll have to be carried in again.
Food warm in my tum, a good long sleep, before the locals come round for a peep.
She comes running back "wake up lass, got to get ready, you're in the next class",
Groomed and shining, I feel much better; enter the ring in fine good fettle,

The judge comes over, prods and peers, then suddenly, the sound of cheers.
I've done it, I think, it must be me, no, the red has won the Bitch CC!
She says "never mind, you tried so hard, you really should have had a card",
"If only you hadn't run so fast, then you wouldn't have come last".

One good thing came out at least, after the class, I had a feast!
Off for home, mile after mile, she looks at me with a loving smile.
She pats my head, I lick her face, and she jokingly says "you are a disgrace",
She won't give in, she'll not be beat, and we're off again next Saturday week!!

From Our Corgi World with kind permission