Rules for Dogs and Dog Owners

The Dog's 10 Commandments
  1. You shall give me more food today than yesterday.
  2. You shall train me with treats - not with big sticks and a loud voice.
  3. You shall go for a walk with me every day - even though your favourite programme is on TV.
  4. You shall not buy furniture I am not allowed to sit on.
  5. You shall only be interested in me - so as not to make me feel unwanted.
  6. You shall love me unconditionally - even when I bark the whole night.
  7. You shall not keep an assertive cat with claws.
  8. You shall not start your car before I'm in it.
  9. You shall not hide the food.
  10. You shall follow these rules strictly unless I poop on the neighbour's lawn and cause a dispute.

The Dog Owner's 10 Rules
  1. The dog is not allowed in the house.
  2. All right then, the dog is allowed in the house but only in certain rooms.
  3. The dog is allowed in all rooms but not on the furniture.
  4. The dog may only sit on the old furniture.
  5. OK, the dog may sit on all the furniture but may not sleep in bed with the humans.
  6. All right, the dog may get on the bed, but only when given permission.
  7. The dog may sleep on the bed whenever he wants, but he may not creep under the cover.
  8. The dog may creep under the cover when given the permission.
  9. The dog may sleep under the cover every night.
  10. The humans must ask for permission to sleep under the cover with the dog.