BEFORE Acquiring a Puppy...

• Pour some cold cider at irregular intervals on the floors of your house and then walk barefoot around in the dark.
• Wear socks where the toe ends are frazzled with a pair of blunt scissors.
• Go daily, right after waking up, outside in the rain and say loudly: "Now be a good boy/girl and hurry up... GOOD boy/girl!!!"
• Rub all your good clothes in dog hair. Dark clothing requires white hair, light clothing requires dark hair.
• Toss also a few hairs in your early morning coffee.
• Play catch with a wet tennis ball.
• Hurry barefoot through the snow to shut the gate.
• Overturn the basket with the freshly washed laundry and spread the contents on the floor.
• In the evening, leave your underwear on the floor of the living room because the puppy will carry it there anyway (...especially when you are expecting guests!)
• Shortly before your favourite TV programme comes to an end, jump to your feet, run to the door and shout: "NO, do that outside!" Miss the end of the programme.
• Drop chocolate pudding on the floor of the house and restrain from wiping it up before the evening.
• Treat the legs of the furniture with a screw driver - they will be chewed on anyway.
• Pick up your dog's droppings and don't mind any joggers having a short rest nearby.
• Pull a towel from the washing line so that the drying rack collapses.
• Next drag the towel over a muddy meadow. It will become your first dog towel!
• See to it that there is enough humidity and mud in the car so that it is impossible to see through the rear window.
• Tear up the entire content of your wastepaper bin into small scraps. Wet them and stick them to the tiles of your living room floor.
• Take a warm, fluffy cover from the dryer and wrap it around yourself. This will give you the warm feeling when the puppy finally falls asleep on your lap!

www.welshcorgi-news.ch