BEFORE Acquiring a Puppy...
Found on Birgit Zwilling's Facebook page and
translated into English by ANo
- Pour some cold cider at irregular intervals on the floors of
your house and then walk barefoot around in the dark.
- Wear socks where the toe ends are frazzled with a pair of
- Go daily, right after waking up, outside in the rain and
say loudly: "Now be a good boy/girl and hurry up... GOOD
- Rub all your good clothes in dog hair. Dark clothing
requires white hair, light clothing requires dark hair.
- Toss also a few hairs in your early morning coffee.
- Play catch with a wet tennis ball.
- Hurry barefoot through the snow to shut the gate.
- Overturn the basket with the freshly washed laundry and
spread the contents on the floor.
- In the evening, leave your underwear on the floor of the
living room because the puppy will carry it there anyway
(...especially when you are expecting guests!)
- Shortly before your favourite TV programme comes to an end,
jump to your feet, run to the door and shout: "NO, do that
outside!" Miss the end of the programme.
- Drop chocolate pudding on the floor of the house and
restrain from wiping it up before the evening.
- Treat the legs of the furniture with a screw driver - they
will be chewed on anyway.
- Pick up your dog's droppings and don't mind any joggers
having a short rest nearby.
- Pull a towel from the washing line so that the drying rack
- Next drag the towel over a muddy meadow. It will become
your first dog towel!
- See to it that there is enough humidity and mud in the car
so that it is impossible to see through the rear window.
- Tear up the entire content of your wastepaper bin into
small scraps. Wet them and stick them to the tiles of your
living room floor.
- Take a warm, fluffy cover from the dryer and wrap it around
yourself. This will give you the warm feeling when the puppy finally
falls asleep on your lap!